German Police Seize Thousands of Trump-Shaped Ecstasy Pills
In a satirical crack intended to “Make Partying Great Again,” it seems the mad science minds of the illegal drug culture have torn themselves away from peddling horse tranquilizers and other bizarre, mind-bending substances, just long enough to capitalize on the clown shoe presidency presently wreaking havoc in the United States.
Over the weekend, German police arrested a 51-year-old Australian man and his 17-year-old son, after a routine traffic stop led to the discovery of five, fat sacks of Cheeto-colored ecstasy pills shaped in the disturbing image of the orange goon known as President Donald Trump.
In total, the bust resulted in the seizure of 5,000 ecstasy pills—all of them branded with the “Trump” moniker on the back—with an estimated street value of $45,800, according to a report from Deutsche Welle.
The two men, both of whom appeared in court on Sunday to answer to the crime, are still in police custody.
“In the control of the car, the officials found 5,000 ecstasy tablets, with the portrait of the American President Donald J. Trump. In addition, a large amount of cash has also been secured,” Osnabrück police said in a statement.
It was recently revealed that the orange Trump ecstasy was starting to rear its ugly head in parts of the United Kingdom. Several reports from British news sources indicate that the drugs are being produced in Amsterdam and then smuggled into Britain for sale on the black market. The dark web is also responsible for selling the Trump-shaped ecstasy. These pills, some of which are being offered under the tagline “Trump makes partying great again,” are being sold in bulk for around $1,540 for 1000 tablets.
One anonymous source told the Daily Star back in July that the Trump ecstasy is being distributed in the UK by the metric shit ton because the underworld drug trade is having absolutely no problem turning America’s embarrassment into substantial profits.
“There are so many pills about these days with so many different names and brands to attract punters,” the source said. “It’s getting to be a game of ‘who’s got the coolest pill?’ I know for a fact the Donald Trumps are very popular because of who he is. Who’d have thought you can get an E in the shape of the U.S. president? Well you can. And they are here.”
So far, there have been no reports of the orange Trump ecstasy sweeping the United States. Perhaps this is because Americans are already having a tough enough time swallowing “the Donald” and his blathering Twitter high jinks to even consider putting that wily bastard on their tip of their tongues in search of a trap door to good times.
Then again, it might not be a bad idea for Uncle Sam to launch a new socialized program to distribute the Trump-shaped drug to the masses—similar to how it was once done with government cheese—in order to make the next four to eight years more palatable to part of the population that still resides in undertow of a once civil society.
We’ll save you a spot in line.
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